Risky games

On one of the toughest weekends in my recorded history, I couldn't make head from tails of the day. It started out of on migraine and ended in migraines. It felt so horrible I couldn't recall the last time I had such heavy doses of relapse.

Certain things in life will always bring a smile. One of my favorite movies, a song from memory, or even a simple saying will do that. On my deathbed, and no I'm not being dramatic I literally wondered if I died here in my single man's apartment no one would find me for weeks; by that time all the love and likes and sweet comments on pictures are gone and who was Yvens anyways just a faded memory.

But I digress… I was watching a series on Amazon about interviews by the New Yorker magazine and a funny cartoon from the magazine just blew my mind. It also stirred an interesting predicament. The cartoonist Liana Finck has a piece called “Larry No!” And it depicts a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. Now, I know what you're saying there's nothing really profound about x’s and o’s but in hindsight, it's more John Blaze than that. The X’s are set to win and there's room for one move and Larry one of the O’s is just about to go off the ledge and risk it all. The point and what was insightful to me as I envision my death in my apartment from migraines (not sure if anyone has ever died from that but it felt that bad) is the risk. In life, we spend a lot of time contemplating matching the right outfits for the outing making sure the angles are accurate on a selfie and so on. Fewer risks mean fewer rewards, after all, you can't win if you don't play. The fact that Larry with zero chance of winning is still on the fuck-it train is funny but gutsy. This brings me to this moment in my life. Have I had my moments to say fuck it and didn't? Have I had ample opportunity and just skipped to the next track? There I am alone in my apartment migraines are beating me down I've taken everything in sight and yes once again I'm Alone!

There's something to be said about a man that lets the shots pass by. There's a lot to say actually, but this isn’t the time or place but I'll keep you posted on when. I figured out that time sets no boundaries and like my boy says fuck it Larry let the X’s think they win. But I can't let that happened cause, in reality, it's not about winning or losing it's about being happy at that moment at that time where you are. Some shots are worth taking and some are best to let the song cry. I still can't see them coming down my eyes but the memories they'll remember. From a week of pain to a hopeful week ahead, I got off the couch got over caffeinated and off I went like John Wayne riding off into the sunset. Maybe the next shot I'll take but for now, I'm winning the game.