Skip to main content

Love & The Interwebs

The advancement of technology may be the demise of social interaction. The days when people would exchange dialogue in a smoke filled lounge are gone, the days of waiting on the mailman to deliver that letter is gone. Call me old but I’m very conscious of the days when personal interactions were the deciding factor on who a person would date. Now the times have changed and people are no longer using those methods, instead the current world of instant gratification gives us Internet dating. People find it a lot more reliable, and believe it increases dating options.

Lets add up all the factors.

In the world of internet dating some sites may suggest that they have a “scientific algorithm” to weed out the bad from the good and to provide you with the most compatible person. There’s an old saying that if you want to make an omelet you have to break a few eggs. The same applies here: if you want to meet that compatible person then I suggest actually putting in the effort and stepping away from the web. There is no proven scientific method to determine compatibility without interaction. In the world of instant gratification people don’t have, shall we say, the patience to put in the work that is necessary to achieve a solid foundation.

I remember listening to old folks (70 - 80 yrs old) as they would talk about the duration of time it took to get a first date with their soul mate, or the time it took to get that first kiss. You see, the concern of this generation is more about the “gratification” than the end result. It’s fair to say that this generation of seekers tend to want to “smash” sooner than later.  Let’s even go further and evaluate the objectification aspect of internet dating. With the advancement of technology comes Facebook, Twitter, Google +, and all that other social media, in which case there is always a “profile picture.” And that leads to what the person is presumed to be (Model / Actress), but when you meet them they fall short of that expectation.

The advantages of internet dating don't quite stand up to the reality of physical presence. Interacting with a person can create chemistry that is necessary to build that foundation, whereas the presumed personality sometimes doesn’t quite account for a person. The bottom line is when you meet someone online you have a preconceived notion that they are what you see on profile; but, if you met someone in real life and didn’t see their facebook or whatever profile you’d go on the physical basis of what you see. I’m not saying internet is wrong but real presence adds more substance than the assumed.

Don’t get me wrong-- there’s plenty of hope for internet dating, otherwise wouldn’t be successful. It’s the same allure that drags people to sky dive or bungee jump. Not that I’m comparing thrill factors, but when you attend a dating site’s gathering it may be close [Free falling- Tom petty]. So to those who are the poster children of Internet dating’s conclusive Happiness, I say, godspeed. You are amongst the few and you have my blessing to trek on forward.

In the current age of technology we have acknowledged some statistics. 1 in 5 relationships, either start on the web or flourish from it so we have to believe it can be used for good instead of evil. We must also acknowledge the ease it brings to the predator that will lie without consequence. (Tangent: Be a Fact Checker! One can never be too sure.)

The longevity of our predecessors’ relationships will always surpass that of the current norm. Our parents-- or the old folks that you find at the park bench caring for each other-- lasted not because of the fear of growing old but the fact that they didn’t have to assume who the other person was. They knew from years of interaction that this person was in fact the person they wanted to be with; they analysed this person for years. And there wasn’t anything that had to be told of this person. You see, this person doesn’t have to say much for them to know what they want or what they’re thinking. What lies beneath static and electricity is silence and believe me at a certain age you come to enjoy it.

The illusion that the fastest way to a more secure happiness is by not taking chances will not better you or the future you want to have. Fear not the failures of loneliness and embrace the wonder of compatible companionship.

You deserve, at least, that much.


Popular posts from this blog

Reflections of a Selfie

Every year at this time, I reflect on how my time was spent & the life of those living moments. I'm not sure might be reflection number forty-something or not, nevertheless, it begs the question. A selfie taken without a mirror does it reflect? I was watching a video blog on YouTube that a friend suggested and one thing that stood out the most was the old quandary. If a tree falls in the forest and nobody's there to see it does it make a sound? Based on the philosopher George Berkeley's observation, also a concept approached in the holographic universe theory, as well as a quantum field theory, essentially stating when something is observed there is a perceptive acknowledgment, but when it is not observed, what we first perceived to be fact are simply the opposite. Ex. because no one saw the tree, therefore, it made no sound. This leads to my other inquisitive quote "nothing unreal exists" so we go through the adaptation of reality vs abstraction? I reme

Triye [ Trier = Sort out ]

“The good ones are already taken, now a days you have to sift through to find a good one” Recently while listening to a single from one of the most popular Haitian musical bands-- Kreyol la.  The single off their upcoming album which is cautiously titled “triye” (which means to sort out, pluck out, or be selective and choosy). The song stipulates that all the good ones are already taken and if a person is on the market now a days you have to go through a few uncertain ones and you have to be quite choosy to find the good one if you’re lucky because all the good ones already taken. The intriguing part of that concept to me is that i’m not sure if I buy it, I mean it’s the same approach as to say there’s no good man or good women left out there. i always say all women are good and all man are good and what i mean by that is he/she might not be the good one for you but their match is out there and it’s a matter of time for them to find each other, sometimes people are stuck in go

The Looking Glass

  And so it goes! You live, and you learn. The journey is to teach you that perhaps there are alternatives but live this moment and own it. It’s not easy to accept the present when you’re still fighting the past. Grow through it. That’s the only way you’ll get through it. The looking glass has no prejudice; all reflections are of the self. Learn to let go and live. That’s how you get ahead. I say all this to say this! It’s all bull shit, who am I kidding I’m as messed up as anyone looking in the mirror. The reality we each chose to live in modern-day often reflects the society we’re functioning in. Take, for example, the number of people living with depressions. I mean, I never thought I dealt with depression until I started paying attention to the patterns of life. Every year near this time where my birthday is days away, I go through the same sentiments. Be it a feeling of loneliness even when I’m well accompanied, or a sense of underachieving event though I’ve successfully mastered